Hezekiah becomes deathly ill. God himself, through Isaiah, tells him to set his things in order, for his days are numbered.

The king responds with sorrow. He comes to God and reminds him of his faithfulness and his single-minded heart of devotion. Then he broke down and wept bitterly.

The last days of life certainly bring sorrow. We love this world that we live in. The pain and grief that comes with the thoughts of death are real. God certainly knows that pain — Jesus on the cross, suffering for the sins of the world, that would have been sorrow beyond what I’ve ever known.

Hezekiah asks for God to remember him. Does that mean he asked for healing? Did he ask for more years? He wept bitterly perhaps because he felt his death would give Sennacherib something to boast about, perhaps because his heir, Manasseh, was still very young, and perhaps because he wanted to continue living and reigning.

Hezekiah’s life is extended by his request (for God to remember him and his faithful service to God). God, in mercy, gives him an additional 15 years. Reading the full story, we know that It does not end well. But reading the account this morning, other lessons for me are to be learned.

My days are numbered. Will it be another 15 years? Fifteen months? Fifteen days? I have no idea. God knows. My days are numbered.

What will I do with these days that are left? How will I live? Do I come asking God to remember my faithfulness (sad to say it would not take him long to recount that)? Or, do I daily live remembering His faithfulness and living by faith in his goodness and trusting his grace for my very breath?

The grief that has hit me like a storm is causing me to think differently about the remaining days. I am looking more expectedly towards Jesus returning. There are days that I so want him to come, but I fear that that desire is just so that the pain goes away. Wrong motive!

Lord, help me to wait for you, to look for your return simply because I love you and want to be with you!! Not so that I can escape pain or grief. Not so that the troubles of life fade away, but so that I can fully be embraced by you and brought into eternal perfect fellowship with you!

There is a song that I have been reacquainted with while on this road of suffering and grief. This song I first heard about 16 years ago, while going through another time of grief. The Lord is using it again to heal my heart and redirect my thoughts to his faithfulness. I don’t know how my days will end, when they will end, but I know that God is faithful and I want my life to declare his goodness in the midst of pain, confusion, the unknown, grief, and sorrow. He is for me! He is for his suffering pilgrims!

Lyrics to “Your Faithfulness”, Brian Doerksen (YouTube)

I don’t know what this day will bring

Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?

I don’t know what tomorrow holds

Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

I don’t know if these clouds mean rain

If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?

I don’t know what the future holds

Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Certain as the rivers reach the sea

Certain as the sunrise in the east

I can rest in your faithfulness

Surer than a mother’s tender love

Surer than the stars still shine above

I can rest in your faithfulness

I don’t know how or when I’ll die

Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?

No, I don’t know how much time is left

But in the end, I will know your faithfulness

When darkness overwhelms my soul

When thoughts and storms of doubt

Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful

Certain as the rivers reach the sea

Certain as the sunrise in the east

I can rest in your faithfulness

Surer than a mother’s tender love

Surer than the stars still shine above

I can rest in your faithfulness

I don’t know what this day will bring

Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?

I don’t know what tomorrow holds

Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness